Lohan Betting Image Prevents Jail

Lindsay Lohan is rushing to establish as many positive publicity moves as she can in preparation for her latest scheduled court appearance, hoping she can convince a judge to allow her to yet again avoid any real jail time. Lohan checked herself into the famous Betty Ford rehab center, and posed for paparazzi pics visiting homeless children and giving them purses.

Lohan’s desperate need for a rapid image change came after she failed drug tests only days after persuading counselors at UCLA that she had no drug problem and hence no need for rehabilitation. Lohan had repeatedly violated terms of her probation, leading a Los Angeles judge to order her to serve 90 days in jail, followed by 90 days at the UCLA rehab facility.

But the erstwhile actress was released by the Los Angeles County Sheriff after only thirteen of her ninety days were served, amid complaints about special treatment for celebrities by the Sheriff, both as to jail conditions and rules and length of stay. Then UCLA’s examiners were fooled by Lohan in her best performance in a decade, as they determined she had no drug problem, only a misdiagnosis which had led to an improper prescription of Adderall.

However, less than two weeks from her release from the medical center, Lohan blew court-ordered drug tests, showing positive for both cocaine and Adderall. Those wondering why she would still be taking the ADD medication after the UCLA findings would discover the pills act as amphetamines, making it another type of speed.

A judge ordered Lohan directly to jail, with no bail to be offered, but a higher court ruled that bail had to be offered as her offense was a misdemeanor. Still, Lohan faces an October 22nd court date, with once again the danger she may have to receive a small portion of the punishment a less famous person would get.

Thus, the actress in Lindsay has taken to the challenge to portray herself as remorseful and eager to reform. One day after Twittering denials of any blown test, Lohan told fans she had made a mistake in her healing process, essentially admitting the addiction doctors had said she did not have.

The only question is whether a judge can still be gullible enough to fall for the self-absorbed star’s manipulations.